October 4th - December 13th, 2019
Every Other Friday morning 10am-12pm
The Alchemy of Sex & Intimacy in Long-Term Relationships
With Robert King & Niyati Evers
- Early Bird (until Sept 6): $240
- Regular price (from Sept 7): $300
Explore the opportunities and challenges of sexuality and intimacy in long-term relationships in an in-depth course of six online workshops, every second Friday from October 4 to December 13, 2019. We will meet every two weeks on Fridays, from 10 AM – 12 PM Pacific time. You can attend live, watch the recordings, or both. See Niyati talk about about what it means to be “sex-positive“.
Intimate relationships (also known as emotionally- committed relationships) offer the possibility of companionship, intimacy and sexual fulfillment. At the same time, they come with a challenge, how do you keep passion and sexuality alive over the years? How can you have the warmth of familiarity, and the excitement of novelty and discovery? How can you have freedom as an individual, and maintain a sense of togetherness and connection?
Relationships are magical, but also frustrating. That’s because they challenge us to grow as individuals, and with our partner. When we don’t respond to this challenge, the result can be conflict, disconnection, and unfulfilling sex or no sex at all. This course will teach you how to work with yourself and your partner to deepen intimacy, expand your erotic potential, and develop your relationship and communication skills. Awareness itself is the ‘Alchemical Cook’: by exploring and unfolding our edges and stuck places with curiosity and interest, we enter into an ongoing process of personal and relational transformation. Our edges can become portals for new levels and dimensions of connecting emotionally, spiritually and sexually.
Behind boredom may lie the discovery of your power and agency. The desire for novelty may propel us to take risks in exploring fantasies and desires. Consciously exploring sources of tension and anxiety may lead to discovering new levels of empowerment around initiating and shaping our experiences. Learning to say no and how to set limits while staying connected can lead us to experiencing our deepest places of surrender and rapture. Allowing ourselves to relax in receiving pleasure can relieve us of performance pressure and open us to spontaneous and effortless ways of connecting and enjoying our sexuality.
This course will cover themes such as:
- Common challenges and dynamics in long-term, emotionally committed relationships.
- How sex is a mirror to personal and relational growth.
- Using “death as an ally” in the context of sexuality and intimacy.
- Social context, power dynamics and internalized oppression around sexuality.
- The relationship between intimacy, sex and spirituality.
- The deeper meaning of fantasies, peak experiences and desires.
- Discover and work with your personal & relational growth edges.
- Get to know your erotic landscape and forcefield.
- Connecting to your erotic journey, myth and core values.
- Create an erotic container: physically; emotionally, and within relationships.
- Use tools and mindsets to work with disturbers, conflict, challenges and impasses.
- Upack cultural assumptions around sex (what is considered “normal”), and how they trip us up.
- Discover how solutions are often contained within disturbers.
- Develop agency and empowerment to shape our erotic experiences.
WHEN: This 12 hours of in-depth teaching and experiential exercises will happen on:
- Friday, October 4th, 10am -12pm PDT
- Friday, October 18th, 10am -12pm PDT
- Friday, November 1st, 10am -12pm PDT
- Friday, November 15th, 10am -12pm PST
- Friday, November 29th, 10am -12pm PST
- Friday, December 13th, 10am -12pm PST
WHO: This course is for anyone involved in a long-term or ongoing relationship looking to deepen, expand, enrich or reignite their sexuality and intimacy. All different relationship constellations, sexual orientations, gender identities and sexual preferences are welcome, same sex or hetero, polyamorous or monogamous, kinky or vanilla (we will not have time to focus on the specific challenges of polyamory or kink).
You are also welcome to attend if you are not currently in a relationship but want to:
- explore your sexuality as a pathway to personal, relational, erotic and spiritual growth;
- develop, expand and deepen your erotic and intimacy potential;
- grow your relational and communication skills;
- learn more about the alchemical phases of transformation, and
- discover more about the dreaming nature of relationships and sexuality.
YOUR TEACHERS: Facilitators Niyati Evers and Robert King are therapists in private practice in Portland, OR. They have developed an approach from years of research, along with their experience as a couple. They are excited to share their discoveries, and want to inspire and empower you to deepen your sexuality and intimacy. Niyati and Robert have a YouTube channel Here is Niyati talking about changes in your sex-life.
“Our approach is non-pathological and focused on developing potential rather than on solving problems. It is based on years of research in this field as well as our personal explorations. Because we are involved in a long-term relationship ourselves, we too encounter the challenges, edges and dynamics that are part of the territory of being together for a longer period of time. This became our lab and our “alchemical pot”.
Over the past eight years we have explored, deepened and enriched our sexuality and intimacy using primarily a Process-Oriented Approach: we believe there is a deeper intelligence at play in our relationship that propels us to explore our edges and discover new parts of ourselves and new ways of being and relating. We believe that relationships have their own “Dreaming”: we are always “in process” and we are always “emerging”, whether we are conscious of this or not.
If we want to keep the spark and magic of our sexuality alive in the long term, we have to engage in a process of ongoing discovery and re-discovery. If we open ourselves up to a journey of growth and discovery, the relationship itself will push us to the next level and compel us to stretch beyond what we know.”
Watch this video of Niyati describing what 'Sex Positive' means to her
Register for the introductory experiential seminar: The Mystery of Passion in Long-Term Relationships on June 21st, from 10am-12pm PDT where you will have the chance to begin to explore your own sexuality and erotic landscape, get to know our approach and ask questions about the upcoming course. Payment for the Seminar will be discounted from your payment for the full course.
Robert King MSW, Diplomate in Process-Oriented Psychology, has been a practicing therapist for 40 years. He’s been a faculty member of the Process Work Institute in Portland since 1992. He has taught both in the U.S. and internationally on a variety of topics, such as relationships, sexuality, dreams, bodywork, addictions and conflict resolution. Robert has extensive experience facilitating seminars on social issues, such as the conflict in Ireland, commonly referred to as ‘The Troubles’. He has also co-facilitated Open Forums in Portland on Gay Rights and has taught Advanced Gestalt Therapy, Family Therapy and Counselling Techniques at Antioch University in Seattle. Robert is passionate about developing his visual artwork while integrating spiritual and shamanic traditions with his interest in alternative relationship styles and sexual practices.
Niyati Evers, MAPW, is an international facilitator who has worked in South Africa, Israel, the Netherlands and the U.S. Niyati is originally from Amsterdam. She is a trained Tantric practitioner and has facilitated Tantric Workshops throughout the Netherlands. She completed her Masters in Process Oriented Psychology at the Process Work Institute in Portland. In 1998, Niyati moved to Cape Town, South Africa, where she lived for 14 years and worked with race and gender dynamics in the workplace. Niyati and Robert have an international therapy practice and they facilitate workshops in the realms of communication, sexuality and intimacy. Niyati is currently working on a book about her experiences of growing up in Amsterdam as part of the “second generation” of Holocaust survivors and living in post-Apartheid South Africa.
Please note that while the course will help you develop skills and learn about your style in relationships, it is not a replacement for therapy. If you are dealing with, or recovering from, sexual trauma, please contact us to see if the course is a good fit for you. We want all participants to feel safe and supported, but some people may find individual therapy a better fit.