Living and Loving with Death as our Ally: A Recorded Workshop with Niyati Evers & Robert King


In this 1 hour recorded workshop, Niyati Evers and Robert King explore ‘Death as an Ally’ as a window into new possibilities and what this means for how you live and how you love.


  • 1 recording of the workshop presented to Processwork Online in May, 2020
  • Written exercises and digital resource handouts
Sliding Scale
$10-$30 Suggested
50% of the proceeds go to
Native Americans in Philanthropy 

While many spiritual traditions talk about death as an awakening force, the literal term of ‘Death as an Ally’ came to us through Arny Mindell, who quoted Don Juan. Because this class is inspired by an indigenous concept and because Native Americans are among the hardest hit by Covid-19 as well as being one of the most invisible and forgotten groups, we wanted to give back to a Native organization that supports Native people in this time, as a way of saying Thank You. And, we see you. We have not forgotten you and we’re with you.


What does it mean to live and love with death as our ally?

Wherever we turn these days, there is some form of profound heartbreak and loss. Death is happening on multiple levels, and in multiple ways – it is the river we swim in. Since death is all around us; how can we engage with that process of ‘death and dying’ in a way that deepens our lives and our relationships and our sense of meaning? There’s something about being closer to death that can awaken us, break us open. Death can be our ally in that it has the potential to connect us with the essence of things, with what’s most important and most meaningful. 

What does it mean to live and love with death as our ally? 

What does ‘facing our mortality’ mean for how we create intimacy and how we resolve issues? For how we relate emotionally, sexually and spiritually? What does it mean for how we engage with our dreams and desires and our sense of purpose? How does it influence our personal path and our creative expression? 

Living in Shelter – alone or together – can bring us to our core edges. Engaging with our process using Death as our Ally can be like entering a portal. Often, new possibilities open up, such as connecting to our creativity and to our shamanic and spiritual paths; going deeper and becoming more real in our relationships; bringing out our love and our desire, our vulnerability and our power; developing greater intimacy, aliveness and better ways of doing conflict.



Niyati Evers, MAPW, is originally from Amsterdam where she worked as a body-oriented therapist and a facilitator of Tantric workshops. She completed her Masters in Process Oriented Psychology at the Process Work Institute in Portland. In 1998, she moved to Cape Town, where she stayed for 14 years. While living in post-Apartheid South Africa, Niyati worked as a senior associate for the Center for Conscious Leadership and in this context, she facilitated conversations with executive teams focusing on power, race and reconciliation. She now lives and works in Portland, with her partner Robert. Together, they have an international sex-positive therapy practice and they offer online workshops in the realms of sexuality, intimacy and spirituality. Niyati has always been drawn to explore the interconnectedness of sex, death, ecstasy and transformation. She is currently writing a memoir about her experiences of growing up in Amsterdam as part of the “second generation” of Holocaust survivors.    


Robert King MSW, Diplomate in Process-Oriented Psychology, has been a practicing therapist for 40 years. He’s been a faculty member of the Process Work Institute in Portland since 1992. He has taught both in the U.S. and internationally on a variety of topics, such as relationships, sexuality, dreams, bodywork, addictions and conflict resolution. Robert has extensive experience facilitating seminars on social issues, such as the conflict in Ireland, commonly referred to as ‘The Troubles’. He has also co-facilitated Open Forums in Portland on Gay Rights and has taught Advanced Gestalt Therapy, Family Therapy and Counselling Techniques at Antioch University in Seattle. Robert is passionate about developing his visual artwork while integrating spiritual and shamanic traditions with his interest in alternative relationship styles and sexual practices. He is currently working on his online art gallery, which will be available later this year at To find out more about Robert’s unique creative process and to get a taste of some of his works of art, click HERE

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